In the modern world, using animals for food or animal products, such as clothing and medicines, is no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As of late,usage of animals for food,clothing and medicines is becoming less essential. I partially agree with this as the skin and wool of animals are still being used in clothing industry, whereas animals are getting less and less necessary for medicines.
In some nations animal’s skin is still being utilized for protection from intense weather . Yakutia, for instance , which normally experiences extremely cold weather compared to other countries, and normal outfits that are made out of fabrics are not very reliable. Therefore when a particular animal die it can be be very beneficial for clothing ,residents of Yakutia usually take the wool and skin of it in order to use them on a regular basis. Which means animals are still being used to keep warm in cold temperatures in some places.
Animals are still main source of food for vast majority of population, since, not every individual is vegeterian. Furthermore cows,lambs,chickens and fish are still being consumed on daily basis, because not everyone can image their lives without eating these particular foods. They are also the most organic and nutritious source of food for consumption and have been eaten since ancient periods.
In terms of the animal utilization for medicine , that is getting less and less necessary due to the abundance of useful plants and modern technologies. Advanced technologies are able to identify what is detrimental or not, thus scientists do not have to test newly invented medicines on animals such as rabbits and rats.
In conclusion, i partially agree that animal usage has become necessary in modern world, since animals still being eaten and used for their skins and wools in order to keep warm in intense temperatures, whereas animals are becoming less essential in medicine industry due to the example above.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “usage of animals for food, clothing and medicines is becoming less essential” could be rephrased as “the use of animals for food, clothing, and medicines is becoming less necessary.” Additionally, “animals are still main source of food for vast majority of population” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with punctuation and subject-verb agreement. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, but there are some errors that affect the overall clarity. For example, “animals are still main source of food for vast majority of population” should be “animals are still a main source of food for the majority of the population.” Additionally, “residents of Yakutia usually take the wool and skin of it in order to use them on a regular basis” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the decreasing necessity of animal use for food, clothing, and medicine. The writer presents a clear position and provides relevant examples to support their points. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the topic. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and restating the writer’s position.