In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Information used to be stored in paper format,and now with the advancing technology, it is being stored on the internet, while there are certain drawback, they are for outweighed by benefits
One disadvantage of storing knowledge digitally is vulnerability to hacking attacks. As the technology advances, so does the tools of hackers. Once successively hacked, the owner of the information could become victim of various crimes such blackmail. Too much reliance on the cloud storage platforms is another drawback. In case of any unforeseen events such as power outage or damage to one of servers,the material stored on the internet could be permanently lost. As a result, It will incur huge financial losses across the globe.
Despite these downsides, the upsides of this development are much greater. A major advantage is accessibility. With this change, it is now possible to get access to almost all sorts of information, such as books, news and documentaries within a few seconds from all parts of the word. A further significant benedict is saving storage space. For instance, now there is no need to take physical copies of books to a vacation. All it takes is downloading the book to a smartphone or a reading devicelike Kindle. Apart from that finding a certain part of document is a challenge no more, thanks to a “search” feature, the desired part can be found in an instant.
ln conclusion, storing information on the internet may make it less safer and pose a threat of being lost but these are not as significant as tge benefits which include convenient access and elimination of need for space to storem

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some awkward phrasings.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.