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Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

The traffic congestion and pollution are a major problem in urban centres around the world. In this essay, I will argue that raising price may reduce traffic and pollution, but it is not sustainable solution. Instead, promoting alternative transportation methods and renewable source of energy can offer longer term solutions
Increased incomes lead people to buy cars to commute from and to their homes. Instead of using public transport, people nowadays prefer to own their cars. This causes traffic, especially during rush hours. The slow traffic causes people to arrive late at workstation or return homes late. Cars also cause air pollution which impacts the human health and leads to devasting climate change.
Some people believe that increasing the price of petrol may be one of the solutions to traffic and air pollution since it is discouraging many people to buy or drive cars. However, still many people are using the cars which is traffic and polluting the air.
I suggest that using alternative transportation like bicycles reduce traffic and more convenient than the cars. These kinds of transportation are less expensive than the cars and use less petrol. The government also should encourage people to walk in order to become healthy and fit.
In conclusion, although the governments can reduce traffic and air polluting in the term short term by increasing the fuel price, it will not problem in the future. Using alternative transportation like bicycles are more sustainable and eco-friendlier.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be improved. The introduction clearly states the position, but the conclusion could be more effective. The use of linking words and cohesive devices is somewhat inconsistent, which affects the overall coherence. The paragraphs are somewhat disjointed, and the reader has to work to find the connection between some ideas. More explicit signposting would help to guide the reader through the essay. The conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points and clearly restating the position.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. The use of more precise and varied vocabulary would help to convey the ideas more effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. The use of more precise and varied vocabulary would help to convey the ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay demonstrates an understanding of grammar and sentence structure, but there are several errors that can be distracting for the reader. The use of more complex sentence structures would help to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical control. However, there are several errors that can be distracting for the reader. The use of more complex sentence structures would help to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical control.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed, and the body paragraphs are structured in a logical and coherent manner. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument to provide a more balanced view.

Suggestions
  • Consider addressing a counter-argument to provide a more balanced view.