It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In order to become highly performance people, many people believe that talents are the most crucial aspect, while others argue that hard work is the one. In my opinion, to become highly successful people, you need both.
Some people claim that only talents can lead people to become successful in their fields. This is understandable because there are some fields where talent advantages surpass the hard work. This mean that it is really hard to achieve certain level without talent. For instance, NBA players are usually born with above average height, and even without proper training, they can score easier. Instead, if you have below average height, it is nearly impossible to surpass their performance. In a result, people agree that talents are most important aspect to ace any field.
On the other hand, some people do believe that persistent and grit can lead a person to shine. This is because lots of people with great talents are ended up as useless people. For example, people with great genetics such as above average height or wide shoulders are wasting their potential by eating junk food everyday, instead they can start working out and win the bodybuilding contest. Therefore, it is understandable why people think that efforts are the most crucial role in people achievements.
In my opinion, I do believe that highly successful people are those who born with talents and willing to put some efforts to gain the skills. Talents without hard work are useless, while hard work without talents will hit a ceiling later.
In conclusion, some believe that talent is the most important things to become highly achiever people, while others argue that it can be learned. Personally, I firmly believe that to become top achievers, talents combine with efforts is required.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the key points and clearly state your opinion.

The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some awkward phrasings. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made.