It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future ? To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Money has become an integral part of people’s lives as everything is connected to it. Saving money, in turn, is considered to be an important aspect for all ages, including young generation. While I acknowledge that thanks to saving money from young ages people can develop their responsibility as well as security about future in terms of finance, some deem that there’s no point in saving some money but instead spend all at the moment.
Some people believe that saving money for the future from young age is not vital. instead of saving money and creating borders for buying expensive stuff, people can spend money for their needs, without saving for one bad day which may happen in the future. They assume that we do not know exactly what will happen with us after years or even tomorrow. Due to this some people spend money for anything what they want at the moment for pleasure and extreme feelings without worrying about tomorrow.
Despite this, I agree with this statement due to the fact that when people start saving money and control finances from teenager years it develops their financial responsibility. This means that individuals will use money via right way, avoid unconscious purchases and consumerism. For instance, scientists have proven that people, who learn saving money from childhood, tend to be financially responsible 40% more than those who start saving money from adulthood.
Saving money, furthermore, boosts security in the future with financial part. Because people save money from young age, it will create safety net in some difficult circumstances. For example, when individuals lose their job or confront with financial crisis, they may use their accumulation in order to avoid these issues when they urgently need money. Consequently, saving money is of utmost importance in these situations.
In conclusion , ever since the ev money has been the tool that is capable of tackling any problems. Although opponents think that moments and emotions are more valuable than money, I agree that saving money is really necessary for all people not depending on their age as it has positive effects, such as building confidence and securing in the domain of finance.
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The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary could enhance the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of a wider range of sentence structures could enhance the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of saving money for the future, particularly for young people. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more thorough exploration of the opposing viewpoint and by offering a more nuanced conclusion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and provide sufficient support for your position.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.