It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is considered by a lot of people that Everyone, including young people, must save money for their future. I agree with this view but there are useful and harmful reasons for this.
On the one hand, it is useful to save money for the future. If people save money for the future, they can buy necessary thing in the future because they will have a lot of money until the future due to saving money. For example, according to economics worker, many people have saved money, then, they will be rich in the future. Then, If people save money for the future, they will be financially secure because they may be ill or other diseases in the future and If they will have money, they can pay for their healthy.
However, it is harmful to save money for young people. If young people save money for the future, their time and hapinesses will lose because youth period should be with hapinesses and children will be happy in their youth. Then, If people save money for the future, they think to save money all time and they will be stressfull because Focusing on only one thing can cause stress.
In conclusion, many people think that it is useful for everyone to save money for their future. There are advantages and disadvantages sides for this. I support with this opinion due to buying necessary thing and other reasons.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a standard structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall stance on the issue.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your overall stance on the issue.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation and spelling that can sometimes hinder understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument and a more thorough refutation to strengthen the overall position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counter-arguments to strengthen your position.