It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet.Do you agree or disagree?

There is a notion that experiencing different traditions of other nations does not demand from people to take journey to there because we can acquire a knowledge as much as possible through reading books, watching films or searching data on the internet. In my opinion, people cannot gain such a real exhilaration of traveling and finding out their cultures without visiting incredible places of the world.On one hand, there can be some ways for people to learn about different customs via employing technologies or reading books, and also individuals can be dependable on those alternations in order to avoid such challenges which might face them during the journey. For example, the highest cost of booking apartment, communication issues with local residents and culture shock. When people read something on the books or internet or watch, they could be able to imagine about it, leading to encourage creativity as well as foster overall well-being of them. Another advantage of studying cultures instead of encountering them is becoming aware in an environmentally friendly way of some traditions , meaning that visitors make extra damages while traveling pristine places. On the other hand, While some believe that making a journey is not essential for people who want to be informed about another nation, I argue that when travellers go to various places, they can distinguish unknown features of those nations which can lead great benefits to them. For example, some nations fundamentally do not have their own ethical perspectives. Following that, travelling can get a crucial part of our life to build strong stamina, such as being flexible and open-minded. In conclusion, some think that journey is not a crucial way to know about other customs for people, because of the contribution of books, internet and films as well. From my own perspective, the effectiveness of going to the trip is much more to become open-eyed in the fast paced world.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “employing technologies” could be rephrased as “using technology,” and “making a journey” could be simplified to “traveling.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward sentence construction. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “On one hand, there can be some ways for people to learn about different customs via employing technologies” should be “On one hand, there are some ways for people to learn about different customs using technology.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the traditional methods (books, films, and the internet) and the experiential learning through travel. The writer presents a clear opinion that travel is essential for gaining a deeper understanding of cultures. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and restating the position more emphatically.