It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
Having to observe tradition of different places by unfamiliar people do not demand from them to journey to there. We ought to acquire a knowledge as much as possible through reading books, watching films or searching data on the internet. In my opinion, However people can gain such insights without visiting every corner of the world, they might not experience everything fully and really.
On the one hand, there might be more efficient way to learn to different customs via employing technologies or books can be dependable in order to avoid such challenges which might face them during the journey. For example, the highest cost of booking apartment, communication issues with local residents and culture shock. When people read something on the books or internet and watch, they could be able to imagine about it, leading to encourage creativity as well as foster overall performance of them. Another advantage of this is environmentally friendly way of being aware of some traditions due to visitors make extra wastes to travel some places.
On the other hand, While some believe that making a journey is not essential for people who want to be informed about another nation, I argue it since when travellers go to dissimilar places, they can distinguish its and unknown cultures varying aspects which are suited each other or not and which features are reliable or not. For example, some nations are fundamentally unlike based on its religion, convention and others. Following that, travelling have been crucial part of our life to build strong stamina, being flexible and open-minded. If we journey to somewhere is an abundance option for us to shape up our genuine and communicate with people who were brought up in varying enviroment.
In conclusion, some think that journey is not crucial way to be known other customs for people, since we can afford using books, internet and films as well. From my own perspective the effectiveness of going to the trip much more usefull to become open-eyed in the fast paced world.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly state your position in the conclusion and summarize the main points.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can hinder understanding. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could also benefit from a more formal tone and style.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Try to maintain a more formal tone and style throughout the essay.