It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet.

Same argue that it is not important for people to travel because of available sources where we can learn all about. I entirely disagree with this point of view because of several reasons
It is obvious that there can be some causes why it is not necessary for people visit other countries and learn other culture. One of them probable cab be lack of finance.
For example, it might be challenging for people who struggle with his/her financial condition and don’t have opportunity to afford traveling in other countries. Another one is problems related with health. For instance, some individuals have problem with their health or even because of treatment they are not allowed to leave country which can be reason why it is not important travel other countries.
However, traveling to other countries can include number of benefits which people can get.one of them is feeling that can people get from traveling. For example, people who travel to other countries get more séance of satisfaction than people who get information from different source. Moreover there is likelihood that on the way of visiting other countries people can explore and in the same time exchange culture. For instance, because of the traveling people can share part of their culture with other people therefore making country more and more popular and in same time exploring other country’s culture
In conclusion, even though it seems that there is no needs to visit other countries in order to learn their culture, I consider that people have more opportunities to explore cultures while traveling rather than getting information from specials sources.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of complex structures, but there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. These errors can sometimes make the meaning unclear and disrupt the flow of the essay. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear stance that traveling to other countries is important for learning about different cultures. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style to better fit the task requirements.