It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
t is often argued that it is unnecessary to visit other countries to know their culture as books, films, and the internet provide sufficient information. I firmly agree with this statement and think that mentioned sources provide convenience and enough information.
First of all, books offer unparalleled narratives of overseas cultures. Books have sustainable records of different individuals who traveled and shared experience though papers. For example, many authors documented their experiences and enabled readers to feel this place without leaving home. Thus, books play crucial role in spreading cultural awareness.
Secondly, the internet is the center of interactions and experiences that can let us learn about culture. Internet has democratized access to see the world and different group of people, as well. Evaluating range of limitations like mobility, finance, and time. You Tube streaming platform, for instance, allow us to curl up in our coach and enjoy the journey at our houses without spending money or traveling long distances, easing cultural education. That is why, internet plays the most important role in distribution of culture.
To conclude, I strongly believe that learning culture using books, internet is more beneficial than visiting the culture’s country.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary related to the topic could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good level of grammatical control. However, there are a few errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as relative clauses, could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the convenience and sufficiency of books, films, and the internet in providing information about other cultures. The writer presents a clear stance and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific and varied examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point and is well supported with specific examples.