It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
It is not mandatory for individuals to travel worldwide to aquire knowledge about the mentality of other people . One can learn all information needed from books, movies and the internet. I don’t agree with this statement for some reasons mentioned below.
Internet or journals,for example, provide information about the whole world , this can make it handy when one desires to learn about specific culture.It is much more convenient to learn about the foreign nation through magazines and websites that not require as much as expanses as traveling. Moreover, it migh save time, because as it is mentioned above internet or books are readily available wherever and whenever they needed. Journey from one location to destination, finding accommodation , renting fee ,extrataxes,transportation,food; it is all should be done if one decides to travel to somewhere to learn about that culture. Exactly in such situations, this can appeal to people due to its extremely comfortable and easily accessible aspect.
However , it is not that straightforward to master about the mentality of other country through atlas or media. There are some perspectives that are not found or mistakenly organized in them. For instance, in magazines many touristic country are mentioned being frendly and welkoming toward tourists ,yet it is not few times cited by them that cheating and intentionally selling items under higher prices that are dramatically differ with their actual prices are very common in those places. Also, it is impossible to get info about people with other cultural values and perspectives by only relying on shows , it can become possible only when one interacts and experiences the temperament of them in reality.
To sum up, it is misunderstanding that it is not necessary to travel to somewhere to learn about the culture and its folks when there is internet and books and shows . Finding real information about them is feasible only when one visits and communicates with that people .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows an understanding of complex grammar. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and readability of the essay and need to be addressed.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear argument that travel is not mandatory for understanding other cultures. The writer provides relevant examples to support their point, such as the convenience of accessing information through the internet and books. However, the argument could be further developed to address potential counterarguments more thoroughly, such as the value of firsthand experiences in understanding complex cultural nuances.
Suggestions
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly to strengthen the overall persuasiveness of the essay.