It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that it is unnecessary to visit other countries to know their culture as books, films, and the internet provide sufficient information. I firmly agree with this statement and think that mentioned sources provide convenience and enough information.
First of all, books offer unparalleled narratives of overseas cultures. Books have sustainable records of different individuals who traveled and shared experience though papers. For example, many authors documented their experiences and enabled readers to feel this place without leaving home. Thus, books play crucial role in spreading cultural awareness.
Secondly, the internet is the center of interactions and experiences that can let us learn about culture. Internet has democratized access to see the world and different group of people, as well. Evaluating range of limitations like mobility, finance, and time. You Tube streaming platform, for instance, allow us to curl up in our coach and enjoy the journey at our houses without spending money or traveling long distances, easing cultural education. That is why, internet plays the most important role in distribution of culture.
To conclude, I strongly believe that learning culture using books, internet is more beneficial than visiting the culture’s country.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments you have made in the essay.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “sustainable records,” “democratized access,” and “cultural awareness.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the communication. For example, “You Tube streaming platform, for instance, allow us to curl up in our coach” should be “The YouTube streaming platform, for instance, allows us to relax in our couch.”
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that need to be addressed, such as issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition use. These errors detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the communication. For example, “You Tube streaming platform, for instance, allow us to curl up in our coach” should be “The YouTube streaming platform, for instance, allows us to relax in our couch.”
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, sufficient, and extended support for the position taken. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that is well-supported throughout the response. The writer’s opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and conclusion, and the body paragraphs provide detailed explanations and examples that support the effectiveness of books, films, and the internet in providing cultural knowledge. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
Suggestions
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.