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It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

The necessity of travelling has always been arguable in 21st century. In this regard, some individuals feel that visiting places is now invaluable as long as there are other sources like books, movies and internet that could assist with learning their culture and tradition. Speaking of my opinion, I strongly disagree with this proposal since films and internet provide insufficient information, expose wrong media news and present the affluent and developing part of the nations.
Travelling through other nations would seem expensive for those who cannot afford it. Reading books and watching films could not specifically represent the whole structure of a particular country. This is mainly because they present the good, wealthy and rich side of nations but when it comes to the social issues like cost of living, the lifestock of many people, the accomodational shortages and educational problems, the media tends to hide these factors. For example, the majority of people in Uzbekistan claim that United States of America is a country of opportunities in terms of education, security and income, but in reality, it is not financially developed as long as they owe 32 trillions of debt despite having most millionares in the world and also not the best choice for students to study in this country. Therefore, they can be seeing the other side of nations only by travelling and this factor is approved by many experts.
What is more, in order to explore traditions these days, travelling is a must preference. Face to face interactions could taught them to share routines and cultures that helps them to get to know each other more closely. They might take part in several activities depending on a place they visit based on their personal interests. Horse-racing, for instance, is a popular type of activity in Saudi Arabia due to it passes through many generations. Football can be aslo seen as the least attracted game that shapes the lives of many people in England because it sharpens their fitness level and keeps them physically active. These are the means of gathering content of unforgettable moments and thus, it is crucial. Last but not least, personalities are unable to experience the feelings about exploring when they are searching it online on the internet. Nature and environment captures the attention of visitors because it cannot be displayed in either movies or books. Switzerland is in fact home for tourists to come and visit this place once in their lifetime. It is true that it is surrounded by mountains and forests that bring individuals there to rest with their family and enjoy watching the beautiful scenaries of that region.
In conclusion, even though learning about cultures through reading and watching can be cost-effective for many people, I believe that the view of others who suggest to travel remains accurate and solid as long as real-life experiences and broaden horizons are still important.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some flexibility in use of words and phrases. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is mostly accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be further strengthened by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay addresses the topic by presenting a clear position that travel is essential for understanding and experiencing culture. The position is well-defined and supported by relevant examples. However, the essay could be strengthened by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. Additionally, the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed.