It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
The mass media is competing with travelling overseas in terms of being the most convenient and effective source of historical and cultural education. I believe that people now don’t have to have the trouble of travelling to a foreign country to learn their national backgrounds, because modern technologies far outcompete physical tours in ways noted below.
Some people recon that nothing can replace the effect of traveling to a certain country and diving into the atmosphere of the place, and to some extent, this opinion is reasonable. “Travelling” from distance can’t deliver the emotional connection with the environment and vibe as physical tours can. Media, be it in any form — books, films, the web — can only deliver visual and verbal experience. This has a significant disadvantage compared to visiting the place, which allows an individual witness the smell, taste, and even the touch of the culture they are learning about. For instance, they can try the food and clothes, have heartfelt talks and discussions with the locals, and most importantly, be surrounded by that culture. On top of the emotional and supreme advantages, physical tours are a reliable sources of education. Nowadays, almost any person can go online and edit columns on Wikipedia or other similar sources of public articles, thus there is a huge risk of someone ending up with false information about overseas cultures.
Nevertheless being a superior option in terms emotional and security concerns, physically witnessing a tour has a downside in terms convenience. Not all people can afford being on a trip, and majority are not in a condition to bear the hassle of an overseas travel. Since international trips have hefty costs, they are not the best option for everyone, therefore, media sources have an edge towards them. This is because books, films and online articles are usually cheap, if not free. Plus, there are a lot of royalty-free articles on scientific and social researches and queries, which means a significant cut in time and resources spent on educational and scientific projects. On a separate note, modern advancing technologies prove that learning about other cultures online is not necessarily inferior: virtual reality headsets, high definition video and audio systems help have the best virtual vibe possible, and in fact, the modern tech is in on-going development.
In conclusion, media sources provide more convenient and affordable education about foreign cultures than having a trip to the nation in study.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “recon” should be “reconnaissance,” and “the hassle of an overseas travel” would be more naturally phrased as “the hassle of overseas travel.” Refining word choice and ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve clarity and readability. Additionally, using a wider variety of vocabulary will make the essay more engaging and dynamic.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, the essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “Some people recon that nothing can replace the effect of traveling to a certain country” should be “Some people believe that nothing can replace the experience of traveling to a certain country,” and “This has a significant disadvantage compared to visiting the place” would be more clearly expressed as “This approach has a significant disadvantage compared to actual visiting the place.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the role of modern technology in providing a convenient and effective alternative to overseas travel for cultural education. The writer presents a clear stance, arguing that technology significantly outcompetes physical travel in this regard. The essay provides relevant examples to support this point of view but could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counterargument. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced perspective.