It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays it is comfortable just sit in the home and learn other induvdals culture from internet or book compare to travel that places.In this essay i will say online learning much more batter, and i am write my ideas with agree view.
first of all ,this can be plus for the finance instead of going to that country and waste your money.Morower, if you travel that place you will pay for the avia tikcets ,daily products such as food,water,and hotel on the other hand stay at home and just lern from online you will econom your budget from saving extra money,it will only need the internet accses and disipline.
Secondly,in my point of view,if you travel that country for learning their culture you will spen your time much more extra,what i meen by this , in todays world time is importand from all things and if we spend our time to various unnecesary exercise such as going to travel to learn the culture of other people while we have gigantic materals on the internet.on this occation you will probably learn faster than ofline and with benifits like budget.
To sum up, traveling can be show their benifits for learning culture hovewer,learning from internet,films or books have more benifits such as finance and time.
The essay is somewhat organized and the ideas are linked, but the flow of thoughts is not entirely clear. The essay has basic organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the structure is not always clear, and paragraphs may lack focus. The use of transition words and cohesive devices is limited, affecting the overall coherence. Some ideas are repeated, and there is a tendency to jump from one point to another without clear connections.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to make your arguments more clear and more connected.
- Make sure to fully develop your points in each paragraph.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with some inaccuracies. There are attempts to use relevant vocabulary related to the topic, but it is not always used correctly or appropriately. Some words are repeated, and there is a lack of variety in word choice. Spelling errors and informal language (e.g., “batters” instead of “better”) are present, which affect the overall quality of the writing.
The essay contains a number of grammatical errors and there is some confusion in the use of tenses and prepositions. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors that hinder clarity. Issues include incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement errors, and preposition misuse (e.g., “from internet,” “to learn the culture of other people while we have gigantic materials on the internet”). These errors affect the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response, but the argument could be more fully developed. The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion that online learning is better for learning about other cultures than traveling to those countries. The position is supported with reasons, but the development of the argument is weak. The essay could benefit from more specific examples, clearer reasoning, and a deeper exploration of the counter-argument. The conclusion restates the opinion but does not effectively summarize the key points discussed.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your points.
- Develop your arguments more fully to provide a more comprehensive response to the task.