It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
If people are going to learn new cultures, traveling is uncessery. Therefore, we can get information on TV, films and other books. While I disagree with the idea that anyone can not learn without exploring foreign cultures for a few reasons.
On the one hand, we are living in the modern century and also technologies already have developed. For a start on digital media, producers do not open all traditions that belong to local people. Hence, visiting is the most proper way to know. Take Japan visitor as an example, which is lived in foreign country to get new things from citizens. They were well-known people as Japan, as well explored new diversity in Greece. Moreover, they impact world cultures because of their Since new visitors came to this country and then the government budget increased.
On the other hand, people should gain insights into cultural exchange. In addition, most people do not have leisure time. However, they can take time on holidays. It means that if people go somewhere, they will broaden their own horizon, and it helps working more time in the workplace. Take the USA as an example, which is located in North America. Companies give chance and choose once which are travel without extra fees or much salary once a per year. In contrast, most people choose traveling because of accessible resources. As they do not believe that information is not true, almost all of them.
In conclusion, the best way is to go somewhere to know. While I acknowledge in films, we can find necessary culture or traditions. Conversely, it is not enough.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be clarified. Additionally, the use of more formal language could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be clarified. Additionally, the use of more formal language could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that travel is necessary to learn about other cultures. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported with specific examples.