It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

With the help of learning from books, films and the internet about the culture of the people, we should not travel to learn. Personally, I disagree with this view that although studying the habits of other people from books is affordable, it is irreplaceable to get experience to people as travelling.
On the one hand, multimedia is the best approach to learn the lifestyle of people. As literature can offer deep insights into cultural values, traditions, and historical contexts, while films can visually depict cultural practices and social dynamics. The internet further expands this reach, allowing for real-time exchanges. As a result, more and more people choose this way to acquire a knowledge of other culture, such as according to recent research, the number of learners from multimedia is increasing. Therefore, calculating some reasons, films, books and the internet play a key role in learners about the culture of other people.
Having said that, travelling puts people one step ahead of the game to acquire a knowledge of the habits of people. Since immersive experiences allow individuals to engage with people, participate in local customs, and witness cultural nuances that might be overlooked in books or films, thereby leading people to travel. For example, despite a lack of time and money, Uzbeks travel to take experience. Hence, personal interactions can foster deeper empathy and understanding, as well as challenge preconceived notions.
In conclusion, both approaches have their advantages, and together they can provide a more holistic understanding of the rich tapestry of human cultures. However, it is my believed that while books, films, and the internet are invaluable tools for learning about other cultures, they not replace the experience of direct engagement.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The use of examples to support points is effective, but the essay could benefit from more explicit linking phrases to guide the reader through the argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive in linking back to the introduction and the body paragraphs.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. The use of examples to support points is effective, but the essay could benefit from more precise and varied language to describe the cultural aspects being discussed. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive in using precise and varied language to describe the importance of direct engagement in understanding other cultures.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, but there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that could be revised for clarity. The use of examples to support points is effective, but the essay could benefit from more explicit linking phrases to guide the reader through the argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive in linking back to the introduction and the body paragraphs.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of both multimedia resources and direct engagement in understanding other cultures. The writer presents a clear position, stating that direct engagement through travel is irreplaceable for gaining a deeper understanding of other cultures. The essay provides relevant examples to support the points made, but the argument could be further developed with more specific details and a clearer explanation of how direct engagement through travel specifically contributes to a deeper understanding of other cultures. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive in linking back to the introduction and the body paragraphs.