The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.

Suggestions

• Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
• Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as “traffic jams,” “congestions,” and “allocations of special buses.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, such as “Self cars also necessary in this years,” which should be “Private cars are also a necessity in this era,” and “If each company’s CEO organise the bus for workers,” which should be “If each company’s CEO organizes the bus for their employees.”

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the text. However, there are some grammatical errors that can hinder understanding, such as “Self cars also necessary in this years,” which should be “Self cars are also necessary in these years,” and “The reason make up the number of people and their way to get to their place,” which should be “The reasons include the number of people and their chosen method of transportation.”

Overall, the essay shows a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant explanations and solutions. However, there are some areas for improvement in terms of language accuracy and the use of cohesive devices.

The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic of traffic jams and discusses the reasons and solutions for this issue. The writer provides a clear explanation of the factors contributing to traffic jams, such as the high number of people and the use of private cars, and suggests some potential solutions, such as reducing the number of private cars and increasing public transport options. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by offering a more detailed analysis of the proposed solutions.

Suggestions

• Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
• Offer a more detailed analysis of the proposed solutions.