Line graph
The graph illustrates the revenue generated by three bakeries in London over a ten-year period from 2000 to 2010.
Overall, it is evident that the income of Bernie’s Buns and Robbie’s Bakery experienced substantial growth throughout the decade, while Lovely Loaves saw a marked decline. Notably, Lovely Loaves was the most successful bakery at the start of the period, but by 2010, Robbie’s Bakery had surpassed the others in earnings.
In detail, Bernie’s Buns began the period with an income of $20,000 in 2000. This figure fluctuated over the next three years, before stabilizing at just under $40,000 between 2003 and 2006. However, from 2006 onwards, the income rose dramatically, finishing at approximately $65,000 in 2010.
Similarly, Robbie’s Bakery showed a comparable upward trend. Its earnings remained stable at around $55,000 for the first five years, after which they increased sharply, reaching nearly $100,000 in 2008. This was followed by a more gradual rise, culminating at $105,000 by the end of the period.
In contrast, the income of Lovely Loaves followed a declining trajectory. Revenue fluctuated around $90,000 until 2004 but then dropped significantly to just above $40,000 in 2008. Despite this sharp decline, the income stabilized over the final two years, ending the decade at the same level.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the main trends. The information is sequenced in a way that makes the comparison between the three bakeries easy to follow. However, there is some repetition in the use of language, particularly in the phrases used to describe income fluctuations.
Suggestions
- Try to vary your language more to avoid repetition. For example, instead of using “fluctuated” multiple times, you could use “varied” or “changed” to add more variety to your language.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary to describe the changes in income of the three bakeries. The language is generally precise and appropriate for the task. However, there is some repetition of phrases, such as “income rose dramatically” and “income stabilized.”
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is generally accurate. There are a few minor errors, such as the use of “income rose dramatically, finishing at approximately $65,000” which could be more accurately phrased.
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the line graph, including the main trends and significant changes. The writer addresses the task effectively and provides a clear overview of the data.