The information is presented in a logical sequence, but there is no clear organization in the essay. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, and some connections between ideas are unclear, making it difficult to follow the information.

Suggestions

• Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
• Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there is repetition of words and phrases. Some words are used incorrectly or inappropriately, which affects the clarity of the analysis.

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, missing articles, and punctuation mistakes. There is limited control of grammatical structures, and some sentences are difficult to understand.

The essay provides a basic description of the graph and attempts to report some main features. However, there is no detailed analysis or specific data included to support the comparisons. The task has not been completed fully.

Suggestions

• Include specific data and detailed analysis in the essay to support your comparisons.
• Organize the information into clear paragraphs with a central topic in each, such as one paragraph for each mode of transport.
• Use the data from the graph to make relevant comparisons and trends.