Line graph
The line graph gives information about how many markets were closed and established in one country over period of eight years, from 2011 to 2018. Overall, we can see that the number of closed shops decreased dramatically in the given years, while the figure for opened shops declined modestly, despite the fluctuations in the openings.
In 2011, there were 8500 opened shops; however, the trend of set up shops declined significantly to 4000 until 2012. After two years, 6000 shops established in one country, while the number of opened shops remain steady at 4000 between 2015 and 2017. Although the figure for openings were more popular in 2011, the trend of closers were more population by 2018.
The quantity of closures increased by 600, from 6,500 to 7,100 until 2013; however, the figure for closures saw a significantly go down between 2014 and 2015(at 500), yet closures had enormous climb of 5000 in 2016. After 2016, there were around 5100 closures, which were not change at the end of period (2018).
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of an attempt to use more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that affect the clarity of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is some attempt to use a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the overall accuracy of the writing.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes some relevant comparisons. However, the task requires the essay to describe the trends in more detail and to make more specific comparisons.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific data from the graph in your writing.
- Make sure to fully address all parts of the task.