Maftuna
The two maps illustrate latest changes taken in the town of Kimsville between 2002 and present time.
Overall, it’s clear that the town of Kimsville was green area with lots of trees, but the town has taken changes in housing, transportation, and sport facilities.
According to the what is shown in the layouts, It is interesting to note that there were trees in the north-west and south-west sides of the Kimsville in 2002 but the trees hav been knock down and football stadium and new apartments have been built instead of these trees locations. Another striking change is transformation of software company on the right side of city center , which was used as a factory.
Looking at the rest of details, there didn’t use to be entertainment place like pub in 2002 and the building that used to be an old cinema has been replaced to pub in the near years. However, shopping center in the north of the city center has remained the same with no alterations.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the changes. However, there are some areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Consider using more topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with punctuation.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding the use of symbols such as ‘$’ in the task prompt.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and data to support your main points.
- Avoid the use of symbols such as ‘$’ in your task prompt.