Many animal species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes and possible solutions to this problem?

Due to human-induced factors, a large number of animal populations are facing rapid extinction. While this can be attributed to overpopulation in cities, I believe that the issue can tackled with conservation via habitat restoration and pollution reduction.
The primary reason for increased habitat loss in influx in urban areas. As cities in many countries provide more amenities for its residents, including but not limited faster internet connection, limitless recreational places and learning centers, more people living in villages move to access to those facilities. This, however, causes overpopulation in cities, leading authorities to convert natural areas like forests, westlands, and coral reefs into cities to deal with a large number of people.
However, there are a number of ways by which the issue can be tackled. One such is protecting existing natural wildlife. If a number of programs that foster animal protection are managed, species are provided with safe spaces to thrive, reducing the pressures they face from the habitat loss. For example, in the United Kingdom, a lot of animals that may disappear like rare species of rabbit and hippo are kept in special homes for wildlife to increase their population and prevent habitat loss.
Additionally, reducing pollution can also be used for tackling animal extinction. This is mainly because some animal species that are not capable of resisting air pollution, which stem from emission in factories, are disappearing. However, if businesses that are contributing to air pollution are fined well, they may try to find new, ecologically-friendly ways of producing their goods.
In conclusion, rural-to-urban migration is the main cause for need to destroy the wildlife. Nonetheless, I would argue that animal loss can be tackled by running more programs that aim to protect animals, and fining factories that damage the environment.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the main points well, but the connection between different ideas could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Additionally, the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a greater variety of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and sophistication of the language.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more varied range of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and sophistication of the language.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of animal extinction due to human activities and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.