Many animal species are extinct as result of human activities

Nowadays , numerous animal species are facing extinction due to human activities. A few factors can be attributed to this problem , and some actions can be taken to stop the extinction of animals .
Starting with causes , one of the main drivers of animals being extinct is deforestation. Many people cut down trees to build property or flats to live , leading to deforestation . As a result, the animals in those areas will vanish alongside trees . The second contributor can be air pollution . Almost all factories release toxic fumes into the atmosphere, causing air pollution . Almost all animals’ health is prone to toxic gases as humans , meaning that their organisms will strat to die gradually by smelling those fumes regularly .
One of the most effective ways to address this problem is stopping companies from emitting greenhouse gases as Most carbon dioxide emissions come from factories. Therefore , companies should find eco-friendly ways to manufacture items , preventing the extinction of vulnerable animal spieces . The second solution can be conmanystructing more sanctuaries to protect endangered animals . Numerous people poach animals for their skin and bones since they cost a lot . Many poachers usually target endangered animals , as a consequence , they vanish from the earth. Thus , governments should create more sanctuaries to protect endangered animals from poachers because shelters have restricted access . Additionally, in the sanctuary, there will be people who are responsible for taking care of animals, and they will try to extend their numbers .
In conclusion, in current days , many animals are becoming endangered because of human actions. While this issue is occurring due to deforestation coupled with environmental contamination , it can be solved by using environmentally friendly ways to produce commodities and also creating shelters for endangered animals.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the environment and animal conservation. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and word endings that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the essay could provide more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of animal extinction due to human activities and suggesting actions to prevent it. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.