Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

In today’s world, there are a lot of contemporary technologies in people’s lives, such as phones, computers and laptops, social media, AI, and others. Due to this, many humans believe that modern technology has driven people apart, however, others are confident that ithas brought society together. In my opinion, I believe that new technology help humans stay in touch with each others, maintain each others, and safe the communication.
On the one hand, there are some drawbacks of using modern inventions. Firstly, people become more and more introverted because of technologies. Nowadays, a large part of individuals doesn’t need the real communication because they have online-friends in social media or video games. This may be a main reason of us apart. Secondly,contemporary inventions provide the opportunity of online-work. It also may lead to trend of online and introverted life.
On the other hand, with technologies help, we receive more and more possibilities to save communication with our relatives and support each others. For instance, in the past, individuals don’t have enough options to communicate with family, however, today’s devices provide us a lot of ways, such as different messages, video-calls, and social media. In addition, with inventions help, society does charity easier. For example, send money to charity organisations using online banking.
All things considered, the question about impact of modern technology becomes more popular in the present day. Some individuals think that it have negative affect on society, while others say that it has brought people together. I firmly believe, that today’s inventions allow us to maintain connection with close people and help each others.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and restating the opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and restate your opinion.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of complex structures, but there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. There are also a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported, with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the body paragraphs.