Many customs and traditional ways of behaviors are no longer relevant to the modern life and no worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a notion that a number of customs and conventional human behaviors have no relevance to modern society, hence should no longer be kept. While modern life does function in a different way, I disagree with the presented view since traditional behaviors and customs still play a role in people’s lives, showing them vital human characteristics and preserving cultural identities and unity.
It may not be wrong to state that people live different lives nowadays because the development of technology has been influencing many aspects of human life for the past decades. People now have wider access to information, services and practices, which might make a person stand out as an individual rather than part of a certain culture who keeps particular customs and has a distinct way of behaving. This might be because modern life has become much faster and more individual, making traditional ways of behavior and practices irrelevant.
I, however, believe that those values and behavioral aspects are still important and should not be eliminated. Many customs that different cultures have meaning and values that might benefit individuals in their life. For instance, in our culture, we have numerous traditional ways of behavior that emphasize the significance of hard work and determination, two personality traits that are essential in the development of every human being.
Moreover, customs and celebrations are also still relevant to our modern life since they serve great purpose in uniting people and teaching people about their identity and personal roots. National holidays, special days and cultural practices make people come together as a community, creating a unique sense of unity and identity among people. Without these, many cultures would have already collapsed due to globalization and national propagandas. Therefore, I argue that customs and traditional values still hold an importance in our life.
In conclusion, even though the progress of technology has altered our life to such an extent, where some might think traditions and conventional behavioral aspects play a minimal role, I am of the opinion that they still have an importance in our live. This is because they teach people necessary personality traits and keep unity of communities as well as teaching people about their identities.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and related to the topic. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your paragraphs have a clear central topic.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The writer’s opinion is supported with relevant examples. However, the argument could be strengthened by addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
Suggestions
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.