Many manufactured food and drinks products contain high level of sugar which causes many health problems.Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, food and drinks keep a lot of sugar and people think that is the reason why we are getting illness.As a result fees should be increased because it can reduce the number of consumers.
To start with,demand sugary products is not bad when you consume 1 or 2 product in a day and it will help to your brain or you can eat chocolate when you are stress.However when you will eat too much sweet product you can catch plenty of illness.For instance while you are eating many cake you automatically become fat and you can not breathe very well and it can lead to bad outcomes.
To reduce consuming sugary products.If those types of food are becoming more expensive, then people will think twice before purchasing them. It can not only save you money but also keep you fit. and it is like killing two birds with one stone. Our government will gain plenty of money from this policy. Thus, it is a useful idea.
In conclusion,if you eat too much any sort off food it will be bad for your health.To reduce this kind of health problems government should increase the tax for sugar products
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the use of linking words and cohesive devices is somewhat haphazard, affecting the overall coherence. The connection between ideas can be unclear, and the argumentation somewhat repetitive. More varied and precise linking words could help clarify the relationships between ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could be more robust, summarizing the main points and clearly stating the final position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Avoid repetition and ensure that each point is uniquely made before moving on to the next.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, affecting the overall clarity and precision. More attention to word choice and collocation could help improve the lexical quality of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language could help enhance the overall tone.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are some attempts to use a variety of grammatical forms. However, there are several grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use, which can detract from the overall clarity and coherence. More focus on grammatical accuracy, including proofreading for errors, could help improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the implications of increasing the prices of sugary products to encourage reduced consumption. The position is clear and maintained throughout the essay. However, the argumentation could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the body paragraphs. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support the arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.