Skip to main content

Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome?

Although many people set goals to achieve work-life balance, few people succeed in. This problem can be attributed to work pressure and cultural expectations, and mitigated by providing trainings about time management and can be mitigated by offering broader opportunities for employees to indulge themselves after long work.
One factor contributing to difficulty to create balance between work and life is that work pressure. Many employees may be trapped to the cycle of hamster where they live with the illusion of tomorrow. In order to earn more and provide themselves or their family with more supplies, delaying having a rest, they work from dawn till the dusk, saving up more money for distant future that is not exact to come. At the weekends, when they actually are supposed to recover from harsh week, some people prefer taking part-time jobs to enjoying other aspects of their lives. Cultural stereotypes might be the second reason. Some children grow up with the idea of only working hard that is embedded in their mind by their parents with hectic lifestyles and with no work-life balance. In such cases, parents do not spend time with their children where the young starts thinking that only way of surviving is working hard relentlessly with no relaxation.
However, there are a number of ways by which the issue can be resolved. One of the most effective action to take would be implementing reduction in price of some recreational activities. In collaboration with other companies, like gyms, resorts, or tours, workplaces can offer services with some amount of discount which encourages workers to go there with their families and repose for some time. If they reach agreements with entertaining companies to lower price of their services, it would be beneficial for both sides. Productivity and motivation of employees are highly likely to increase since gyms boost their overall health while resorts and tours assist them with reposing, coupled with soothing their state of mind. At the same time, companies offering price offs could sell more memberships, increasing their revenue after all. Trainings before or after hiring employees might be beneficial to support them to build balance between work and life. Proficient psychologists may visit workplaces or organize online sessions about time and work management. Or employers should prolong time breaks for physical and mental exercise, such as yoga and meditation, in which workers could think clearly about how to equally manage their times both for life and work.
In conclusion, overloaded work pressure and societal stereotypes would be the reasons behind why only few people are achieving work-life balance. This can be mitigated by offering reduced prices of entertaining facilities and introduction of trainings.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “work pressure,” “cultural expectations,” and “repose.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. For example, the phrase “one factor contributing to difficulty to create balance between work and life is that work pressure” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect the clarity and readability of the essay. For example, the phrase “One factor contributing to difficulty to create balance between work and life is that work pressure” is grammatically incorrect and should be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, there are some issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency that should be addressed.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why many people struggle to achieve a balance between work and other parts of their lives and suggesting potential solutions. The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion and presents ideas in a logical order. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples to support its points and a more in-depth analysis of the proposed solutions.

Suggestions
  • Include more specific examples to support your points.