Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?
Achieving to life goals at work is becoming a vital concern of human beings in these days. Talking about maintaining the balance over work and other things on a daily basis is one of the most challenging activities in many developing nations, therefore there is a depletion in the proportion of people who can achieve this for some reasons. In addition, overcoming these barriers in people’s daily lives can be the prohibition of internet use and rescheduling the timetable.
Thinking about negative manners of having an outbalanced lifestyle of this controversial phenomenon, one is true that it leads them to the creation of sedentary lifestyle. More specifically, those who are supposed to spend much less time with their families and friends often cause unhealthy habits such as smoking, gambling and job dissatisfaction. In fact, socializing with someone and stay productive mostly helps them to improve their self-interest for working more because when employees are getting more references to do, they would be stressed as a result of having overwhelmingly more hours at office which can be result of family burden and some health issues altogether.
It is clear that this statement is not without its solutions in the long run. If a person is surrounded by distractions on social media and other platforms, the only thing they should do is to take a break for a while and then rescheduling their daily activities into a positive matter. This approach could be used by many employees who are slightly less active in recent decades. Taking part in some recreational activities, for example, can be beneficial for keep their fitness level and scheduling to go to the places like mountains and some accommodational resorts with extended family members is more of a joy that helps them to develop self-esteem and personal satisfaction.
In conclusion, the light of all implemented reasons and solutions for why people are having difficulties in terms between work and life has always considered as one of the most discussed topics in many developed countries.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the use of prepositions. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a good level of accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors and awkward phrasings that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the essay could provide more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the challenges of achieving a work-life balance and suggesting some solutions. However, the discussion could be more focused and the ideas could be more fully developed. Additionally, the essay could provide more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.