Many people are attaching to live in a stressful life and in fact it can cause to make problems for Mental and phisical health.The reason why people getting more stress is that envorimet and social media and to solve this problem every inhabitants try to creat new lifestyle and surrounding.
Most human beings have been becoming accostumed to sacriface their most vauable and crucial moments on unnecessary tasks such as wasting their time on websites,arguing for unimportant things and so on.
For example,a lot of scientists inform people to not waste their time on platforms becouse the signal that comes from phones can make a stress by effecting to main brain that is why children and adults are now being so nervous and bad-tempered.
There are more than enoght solutions to break this problems and one of them is making a new lifestyle.Parents should focus more and more on thier offsprings and make a healty routine for family.Furthermore they must set a limit on using phones and google-box as by these kind of rules parents can handle their children more easely.The second thing is to solve this problem to built a new diet because many deseases arise in our meats.We also should focus on items that we are using in our daily life.
In my opinoin,Stressing occasion come from any things that we do always and we can only beat them by focusing our lifestlye and people who are living near to us.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling that can be distracting. Additionally, the use of more formal language could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder the reader’s understanding. Additionally, there are some issues with punctuation and spelling that can detract from the overall clarity of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the impact of social media and environmental factors on mental and physical health and suggesting solutions. However, the response could be more fully developed, and the ideas could be more thoroughly explored. Additionally, the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments made.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea.