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Many people argue that Facebook has a detrimental influence on individuals and society. I agree with this perspective. This essay will explore this viewpoint and explain my reasons for agreement.

ultimately Initially, Facebook has integrated itself so deeply into our lives that it has become difficult to imagine life without it. This has led to an unhealthy level of addiction. At times, it becomes hard to distinguish between living in the real world and being consumed by the virtual one. Our cognitive ability often gets overwhelmed by constant exposure to Facebook, which can result in decreased productivity in both daily life and workplaces. For example, in many well-developed countries, employees become engrossed in social media during work hours, leading to a noticeable decline in work quality. Additionally, excessive use of networking platforms has negatively affected family relationships, as people struggle to allocate sufficient time to their loved ones.
On the other hand, social media does have some benefits, such as helping people stay connected across long distances. For instance, individuals living far from their families due to work or education can use social media to maintain regular communication. This is especially useful for workers or students residing abroad. However, despite this advantage, I believe social media’s overall impact is harmful. Platforms like Facebook are designed to be engaging, with content that can easily make users lose track of time. While these features may seem enjoyable, they distract us from more meaningful personal and social interactions, causing our real-life connections to weaken over time.
In conclusion, although networking platforms like Facebook offer benefits in terms of global connectivity, I believe they have a far greater negative impact by consuming our time and damaging real-life relationships. People must learn to strike a balance and avoid becoming overly dependent on social media, as the responsibility lies with us.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly identifiable. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your sentences are not too long or complex, which can sometimes make your writing less clear.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be improved for clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and provide a clear thesis statement.

Suggestions
  • Consider revising the introduction to provide a clearer background to the topic and to more effectively introduce the main points that will be discussed in the essay.