Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

A number of people around the worldwide regularly access social media to communicate with each other and informed about news. The updates of using internet can include improving communication, growing the benefits of teaching and promoting opportunities for education, so these benefits outweigh the disadvantages such as the mental health and misinformation.
One disadvantage of utilizing social media every day is the impact on mental health, as immoderate use can cause to anxiety and feeling of incompetence because of unrealistic description of life. Many users feel depressed and inadequate, since they compare themselves to others and worry about missing out. In addition to misinformation can spread quickly, causing problems in real life. This false information can alter public opinion and weaken belief in legal organisations.
However, the updates of utilizing social media very often are far greater. One of the major benifits is enhanced connectivity across the world, that can bring people from all over the world together. With social platforms, you can easily share photos, videos and news with family and friends far away. It helps people to learn from each otherʼs cultures. Additionally, social media is now a valuable tool for education and learning. Websites like you tube, instagram and facebook provide much educational content. This includes online marketing courses, documentaries, lectures, and expert interviews. It breaks geographical barriers and opens more educational chances.
In conclusion, there are challenges, such as privacy risks, concerns about mental health and fake news in using social media. However, the benefits are much more significant including complementary connectivity around the globe and profits of education.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be enhanced. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the transition to the body paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. Clearer topic sentences and more explicit transitions would help guide the reader through the essay. Additionally, the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help convey the arguments more effectively.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help make the writing more engaging and dynamic.

The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media. The writer presents a clear position that the benefits of social media outweigh the disadvantages and supports this position with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed to provide more specific evidence and examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reinforcing the writer’s position.