Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In some countries there is a growing number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home rather than sending them to school. I believe that studying at home is more effective than doing this at school and it has more benefits than it’s drawbacks.
To begin with it’s important to consider the potential disadvantages of homeschooling. Firstly, the main issue is the lack of communication. To be more specific students cannot socialize with their peers and friends because they are always studying at home. For this reason more and more children becoming isolated from outer world. In addition this trend can limit chances for children to develop their friendships and other relationships. It also worth noting that this can also affect on their professional life in the future.
However there are plenty of advantages of studying from home. One significant benefit is flexible time schedule. Flexibility can simplify the choice of additional activities. Moreover at home it’s possible to eliminate unnecessary subjects. Similarly parents can also include subjects that schools don’t normally teach but they want to teach their children such a certain religion or specific subjects and languages.
In conclusion, there are more benefits of homeschooling and they fully outweigh drawbacks.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between some ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between some points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure each paragraph has a clear central topic and follows logically from the previous one.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “It also worth noting that this can also affect on their professional life in the future” should be “It is also worth noting that this can also affect their professional life in the future.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “However there are plenty of advantages of studying from home” should be “However, there are plenty of advantages to studying from home.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling. The writer takes a clear position that homeschooling is more beneficial than traditional schooling. The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points but could benefit from more specific details and evidence. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Focusing on providing specific examples to support the argument and ensuring that each point is fully developed will enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.