Many people believe that social networking side like (Facebook) have had a use negative impact on both individuals and society .to what extend do you agree?
Many people argue that Facebook has detrimental influence on Human beings and society, I agree with this perspective. This essay will explore this viewpoint and will provide my opinion on this topic.
Initially, Facebook has integreted in our lives deeply that we can not imagine how it occurred our brains with its addictions. Sometimes it is hard to understand real point of our life where we live in real life or visual one. This is because our cognitive brains are obsessed with Facebook which allow us to lose productivity in daily life and workplaces. For example: in majority well-developed countries meet this issue that many staffs have immersed into social medias which results in decrease quality of work. Additionally, Networking also effected family relationships that we can not allocate times for close-knit people who are around us.
Alternatively, social media gives us to access to connect with people around the world that could be considered as a beneficial impact. Given that, some relatives would live far from their homelands and social media support them to connect with their family members. For instance: numerous of workers, students and others work or live globally. Social media is best solution to link these sort of people to their near Humans. However, I can not appreciate social medias because of only this advantage why because they are damaging our lives with their magical layout. They seem so enjoyable where can fell exited and rest by different kind of contents. But we have forgotten that personal life is fainting day by day.
In conclusion, while networking has pros for people to attach their relatives globally, I consider that, it is killing our time as well as live. People must balance their life which they should not addict their treasure life to social media. All depend on us
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the information. However, there are some issues with coherence in the body paragraphs, as the ideas seem to be somewhat disjointed. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to better guide the reader through the text.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that could be improved. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that could be improved. Additionally, the use of formal language could be more consistent.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation that can be distracting. The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are some errors in grammar and punctuation that can be distracting. For example, “Facebook which allow us to lose productivity” should be “Facebook, which allows us to lose productivity.” Additionally, there are some issues with subject-verb agreement and word form that could be improved.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the negative impacts of social networking sites, particularly Facebook, on individuals and society. The writer presents a clear position, supporting the idea that these sites have a detrimental influence. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the body paragraphs. Additionally, the conclusion could be more substantial, summarizing the main points and reinforcing the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point and is well supported with relevant examples and explanations.