Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the use of social networking sites such as Instagram, Telegram, and Facebook has grown at an unprecedented rate, fundamentally transforming the way people interact and exchange information. These platforms offer significant advantages, such as facilitating seamless communication, providing access to valuable resources, and enabling users to share content instantly. However, a growing number of people argue that these benefits are outweighed by the negative consequences they impose on individuals and society, including their detrimental effects on mental health, interpersonal relationships, and social cohesion. This essay will critically examine the extent to which I agree with this perspective.
On the one hand, online platforms provide a wide range of opportunities for individuals to accomplish tasks that previously required face-to-face interaction. For instance, applications like Telegram allow users to participate in online educational courses, maintain close contact with distant relatives, and share multimedia content effortlessly.
Furthermore, these platforms have become essential tools for businesses, schools, and governments, helping them connect with people around the world easily. The ease of use and accessibility of social networking sites have clearly helped increase productivity and improve connections in today’s world.
On the other hand, people are becoming overly addicted to social media and spending more time on it than they should throughout the day. This, of course, causes significant harm to their health, making them anxiety and emotional stressed. While many believe that online platforms bring people closer together, in reality, those who spend excessive time living virtual existence often struggle to engage meaningfully with others in real-life interactions, becoming easily frustrated and socially withdrawn. Beyond its detrimental impact on mental health, prolonged screen time can also contribute to physical health issues, such as weakened eyesight and other related conditions.
In conclusion, while social networking platforms have positive aspects, such as connecting people from distant places, they have a more negative impact on society and individuals. If used excessively, they can cause serious harm to one’s health, lead to deception, or contribute to more serious issues in society.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and provide a clear thesis statement.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to better introduce the topic and provide a clear thesis statement.