Many people feel that most of the urgent problems can only be solved by international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a popular view that the majority of alarming problems can be addressed by international collaboration, thanks to multilateralism, although every other inner issue should be dealt with in the country independently, meaning i partly agree with the perspective above.
It’s true that some problems require solutions that are created by worldwide cooperations. Climate change, for example, affects the whole planet and can only be solved with international treaties. Every countries contribution to enhancing the ecosystem may change others’ situations, too. However, a much more pronounced example for the support of worldwide collaboration is Covid-19. Originally, coronavirus started in China and spread across the world so fast. In that case, countries had to work together to cultivate alternative approaches for saving the lives of millions. Also, humanitarian aids were sent by countries to support China and make sure people have enough supplies to survive in a pandemic. These are examples of circumstances where global effort is needed.
Despite the advantages of international cooperation, every country should avoid excessively depending on foreign states. Put simply, most of the inner problems are handled independently, and it leads to sustainable development and not making countries too reliant on one another. Issues such as the unemployment rate, level of inflation, and political tension should be addressed by local authorities, and this would prevent a dominant position of country. This is the case in Africa at the moment. In many parts of that continent, they don’t have as much impact as external parties.
In summary, i firmly believe that some problems are meant to be solved by a global approach while others should be managed autonomously.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “every countries contribution” should be “every country’s contribution,” and “a much more pronounced example” could be rephrased as “a clear example.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “every countries contribution” should be “every country’s contribution,” and “a much more pronounced example” could be rephrased as “a clear example.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Using a variety of sentence structures will also help to make the writing more engaging and dynamic.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of international cooperation in addressing some global issues while also acknowledging the value of individual country autonomy in handling others. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples, such as the global response to COVID-19 and the local handling of issues like unemployment and inflation. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. The essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of how to balance international and local efforts to address global challenges.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your argument more fully and provide more specific examples to support your position.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.