Many people think that museums and galleries should only show work from local artsits rather than work from other countries do you agree?
There is no doubt that cultural values like museums and galleries play a pivotal role in a certain nation’s background. Most invididuals are in favour of demonstrating solely works of native artists, yet some figures tend to hold the perspective of displaying works of foreign artists in historical places.
At the outset, works of local artists display what cultural values and mentality of a particular nation stand for. Local museums and galleries are visited on a regular basis by a ton of individuals who are drastically into historical, cultural and national values. For instance, the British government museum has conducted a survey at Oxford University, which primarily identifies how many students visit national museums and enjoy works of local artists. The survey illustrates that over 65 percent of students visit museums to see and enjoy works of local artists, and emphasize the core value of cultural heritage and keeping the orginial works of great national artists safe in order to pass the next generation on. Students’ statement claims that while seeing the works of native artists they seem to see the real history of their nation, and feel proud of their history. Thus, many youngsters and elderly humans keep visiting museums to watch works of local artists to witness their history and cultural values.
On the other hand, some severely argue that works of foreign artists should be demonstrated in museums, since they are in significant favour of works of abroad artists. The British Broadcasting Corporation recently has conducted a questionnaire on why most people tend to hold the idea of demonstrating works of foreign artists. The questionnaire was asked by over 1200 people residing in London, who claimed that they intrinsically show high regards towards works of foreign artists, and highly appreciate them. Furthermore, in 2012 the massive people popped out walking in the streets of London showing big pictures of scripts saying “We for works of foreign artists”. So, some people keep their inverse positions of just showing works of local artists in museums.
In a nutshell, both works of local artists and works of foreign artists should be demonstrated in museums for the appreciation of not only local artists’ values, but also foreign artists.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of transition words and phrases helps to guide the reader through the text. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition between the first and second sentences is a bit abrupt. A more seamless transition would improve the overall flow of the paragraph.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Ensure that your sentences are not too long or complex, as this can sometimes make your writing less clear.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved. For example, in the first paragraph, the word “individuals” could be replaced with “people” for a more natural tone. In the second paragraph, the phrase “severely argue” is not the most appropriate choice; “strongly argue” would be more suitable.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected. For example, in the first paragraph, the phrase “Most invididuals are in favour of demonstrating solely works of native artists” contains a minor error; “invididuals” should be “individuals”. In the second paragraph, the phrase “The massive people popped out” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the topic effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed, and the body paragraphs are structured in a logical manner. However, the essay could benefit from a more thorough discussion of the opposing viewpoint.
Suggestions
- Consider including a more thorough discussion of the opposing viewpoint to provide a more balanced argument.