Many people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Some say health problems can be solved by improving several sports centers. Which could lead every citizen to do sports regularly, while others believe that there are a number of options that can be even better to struggle against the health problems.
Many people globally attend different sports for various purposes, as it is essential not only in achieving goals but also important for general well-being. Most sporty people do not see doctors continuously due to their healthy lifestyles. For example, Cristiano Ronaldo, who is the top player in the football industry, never drinks dizzy drinks and snacks; therefore, he is still muscular regardless of his age. In addition, Khabib Nurmagamedov, who has accomplished constant success in the field of UFC fighting strickly against alcohols, encourages the younger generation to stay fit and healthy.
However, there are a number of diseases that are determental despite being physically active. Such as heart attack, stroke, or hemorrhoids, they occur because of not consuming healthy food or luck of vegetables. Additionally, DNA can be another reason that some people suffer from. For example, in spite of being active, certain individuals suffer from long-lasting diseases such as diabetes and cancer. The reason is not only luck of active lifestyles but also because of nereation to generation. In this case, the only way to tackle this problem is to follow professionals instructions and have effective treatment.
In conclusion, although a wellness-focused life is an essential tool to stay in good shape, a bunch of health-related problems cannot be solved by hitting the gym, particularly if it is genetic-based.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to provide a clear and concise summary of your main points.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary could help to strengthen the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with a good level of complexity. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise grammatical structures could help to strengthen the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. However, the essay could be strengthened by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary could help to strengthen the essay.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points.