Many people want to look younger than their real age. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative .

In the contemporary world, individuals appear younger than their actual age.
This phenomenon can be explained by increasing beauty standards and peoples’ self-esteem and I think it is more of a negative development.
On the one hand there exist some underlying reasons why the trend is happening. For one thing, every generation has it’s beauty standards which tells people what makes attractive and what makes them ugly. As a result individuals follow this standards to look more beautiful. Compared to the past now this action is becoming popular and many of them influence to change their appearance. For instance, if people in their 40 , they want to look as a 30 and 30 wants to look younger . Second reason is that obsession of self-esteem. They think that, there is one way to stay confident and young is change their appearance.
From another angle , this change has more disadvantages to people’s lives. First negative impact is that, growth in the number surgeries encouraging doctors to make surgery on not for people’s face but also other parts of the body. As a consequnece, this kind of surgeries end with bad effects like
allergy, distension and some spots . Another way to stay as a young person is that the presence of beauty products which makes people more unattractive. And also this can impact on society.
To conclude, individuals want to look younger as beauty standards and self- respect are developing year by year. But this this is a dangerous to people as well as society that because of for bringing some health problems such as allergy.

5.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance of the essay.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and link them back to the main argument of the essay.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the arguments more effectively.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that can be distracting. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain reader interest. However, there are some grammatical errors that can be distracting. For example, “every generation has it’s beauty standards” should be “every generation has its beauty standards,” and “growth in the number surgeries encouraging doctors to make surgery on not for people’s face but also other parts of the body” is awkward and unclear.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the trend of people wanting to look younger and the implications of this trend. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this phenomenon and provides a well-structured argument that considers both the positive and negative aspects. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by offering a more detailed exploration of the topic.