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Many people want to look younger than their real age. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent years, it has become common for people to desire to appear younger than reality. In my view, the primary causes of this change are raised beauty standards and peer pressure. I believe this trend is largely negative, mainly because it causes health concerns.
With the popularization of social media platforms, celebrities are putting forward the idea of looking perfect with the help of cosmetics or things in similar nature. To elaborate, they are promoting the notion that people should have a youthful look, even if it is with cosmetic surgeries, regardless of their age. This in turn has changed the way people see and perceive an individual, leading to changed perspectives. For example, members of Kardashian, who have huge followings on social media platforms, advertise their cosmetic products by arguing that they help to look younger.
On a broader level, pressure from peers is another driving factor of this development. Given that people try to keep up with others so that they avoid feeling left behind, they may try to follow others path. This social influence can, in fact, encourage people take actions resulting in negative consequences. South Korea can be a good case in point. Citizens, especially teenagers, do not usually go out without wearing makeup as they feel they do not look good enough. In addition, it is widely accepted to have face surgeries as it is seen as the way of fitting into the society.
In my opinion, attempts to appear younger can have adverse effects, the most significant of which resulting in health issues. What makes it detrimental is the surgeries that people go through to look younger. These surgeries can have negative impact on their skin, potentially causing skin cancers. In addition, diets that people try for this reason can lead to having problems as these people can have harsh dietary plans, preventing essential nutrients coming to their body. This, in the long run, can give rise to medical conditions that may be irreversible.
In conclusion, elevated beauty norms coupled with pressure from others are the major contributors of people’s striving to have youthful appearance. I believe this turn of events is undesirable, for it can have disadvantageous outcome for people’s physical well-being.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all clearly structured. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your sentences are not too long or complex, which can sometimes make your writing less clear.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.