Many people want to look younger than their real age. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?
It has been noted that an increasing number of people are opting to appear younger than their actual age. The prime reasons explaining this phenomenon are current beauty standards and people’s obsession with self-esteem. As for impact of this trend, I believe there are more negative sides.
Every generation has its specific beauty standards, telling individuals what is considered attractive and what is not. These days, in particular, looking younger is seen as a part of a beautiful image, inspiring many to take action to achieve a particular appearance. For example, people aged 40 want to look like 30, and there are people who are in 30s want to appear as someone in their early 20 s. Self-esteem has to be cited as a strong reason for this notion, too, as people are largely self-conscious, meaning the only thing that makes them super confident is looking younger than their real age.
Even though appearing younger can make one more confident than ever before, the overall outcome of this notion is quite detrimental. What makes it negative is an increasing number of surgeries that individuals are going for,allowing doctors to make physical changes not only on the face but also in different parts of a person as well. If it is not surgeries, it is other purchases people make to look younger, resulting in the growth of businesses selling beauty products, leading to a proliferation of an idea that people should change their body features to appear younger.
In conclusion, individuals want to appear younger due to modern standards of beauty and a desire to gain more confident from their appearances. However, this significant change seems absolutely dangerous in society as people are becoming more prone to make changes in their body parts, and the outbreak of beauty based products.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “Self-esteem has to be cited as a strong reason for this notion, too, as people are largely self-conscious, meaning the only thing that makes them super confident is looking younger than their real age” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward or unclear sentences. For example, “Every generation has its specific beauty standards, telling individuals what is considered attractive and what is not” could be rephrased for clarity. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the conclusion could be more fully developed. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the trend of people wanting to look younger and the potential negative impacts of this trend. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this phenomenon, such as beauty standards and the obsession with self-esteem, and also discusses the positive and negative aspects. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Consider providing a more comprehensive conclusion that restates your main points and provides a clear final thought.