Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the fast-paced nature of the 21st century staying focused on the same task for a long period has been a major problem. It is mainly attributed to digital platforms, providing constant notifications and quick content. However, I maintain that the role of sleep disorders and unhealthy diets in attention deficit should not be overlooked.
In recent years, social media platforms have bombarded people with frequent alerts and pop-up notifications. As a result, individuals develop the habit of checking their phones regularly, reducing their ability to tune in. For example, websites like TikTok, Instagram , and YouTube offer a wide range of appealing videos whether people are at work or home, leading to create reward-seeking behavior. In other words, those provide an instant gratification in the form of likes, comments, and shares which release dopamine, the happiness hormone.
Furthermore, the excessive consumption of junk foods, which are low in nutrients, results in attention span disorder. This is because these nutrients are essential to manage cognitive system, including memory, concentration, and sustained attention. Studies conducted on the risk of ADHD is a good case in point, showing that diets high in fast food and lack in nutrients , such as iron and omega, may contribute to attention disorders like ADHD, particularly in children.
Sleep deprivation is another reason why many people are challanging with attention deficit syndrome. Oftentimes, individuals are trying to keep up with fast-paced nature of life, leaving less time for sleep. However, the importance of sleep for consolidating memories and processing information should be taken into account. Without sufficient rest, brain struggles to retain new information, which can lead to decreased ability to focus.
In conclusion, while online networking services disrupt users’ concentration because of frequent updates, adequate nutrition and restorative sleep are essential for maintaining optimal cognitive system as well as attention. This goes to show that eating and sleeping habits play an equally important role as digital platforms on attention deficit.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.