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Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do the advantages of living away from home for university studies outweigh the disadvantages?

University-age student usually live with their family members or relatives , but some may even have to move out of their houses due to the location of the Universities being outside of their locality. While relocating can come with advantages of gaining independence and learning new skills but these benefits are outweighed by drawbacks, such as Financial cost of life and Turning to ill ways as result of less limitations.
One advantage of flying the nest is the huge possibility of gaining independence. Many students living in their parents properties are usually late to become find out who they actually are in life compared to those living away form their parents as they experience the taste of freedom and self-discovery earlier to find their mission in life and also they have a space to grow and to become their own person. Take Hollywood movies as an example where they push people to leave out of borders and fly alone to become self-made of their own via reflecting them with characters. Learning new skills can be another advantage. As their new-found independence creates opportunities to shape new skills to lead a better life such as cooking, cleaning, personal finance management and other skills of similar nature which facilitate to the personal development of students.
I, on the other hand, believe that these lifestyle doesn’t end up with good consequences. The primary drawback of moving out of home is the prospect of financial hardships. Most students fail to stabilize their income to support themselves resulting in latency on bills and not being able meet their basic needs like food and clothes, let alone saving money. Moreover, less parental supervision is another concern in times of maturity. As there are less watchful eyes students have tendency to turn to ill ways of living like taking up smoking, alcohol and even drugs. These behaviours can have an adverse effect on their lives as they make them complicit in crime. Take–My Friend. He entered a prestigious university and his parents let him stay alone and even bought him an apartment out their excitement on their children’s achievement. He lost the control of himself which then ended with him turning to lust , alcohol and even being expelled form University.
In conclusion, while moving out of your home can bring advantages of being independent and possessing crucial skills in life. However, they are outweighed by disadvantages like financial hardships in life and deviation.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them back to the main topic.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder overall understanding. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder overall understanding. These include errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home for university studies. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support its points.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific examples to support your points.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to improve the overall structure and coherence of the essay.