Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

A significant number of students studying in universities favor learning extra-curricular lessons, while others oppose this perspective and prefer focusing solely on their career paths. Although, interdisciplinary studies do have benefits in terms of being adaptive and the enhancement of management skills, I think concentrating on a particular field for a student to become a prodigy of his or her field is more advantageous.
The reason why many learners support the statement of studying multiple subjects at the same time could be the belief in the improvement of soft and cognitive skills. As undergraduates start exploring a variety of subjects beyond their major, they might become exceptional at time management – since they have a little amount of time for the completion of multiple tasks – and might see a boost in memorizing. In other words, those who argue that juggling in academic studies is reasonable, with a high possibility, truly believe in themselves that they can submit their accomplishments meeting the deadline.
There are students that fancy excellence over quantity not only in the university studies, but also in the completion of their future job. An ideal example for the given perspective would be university students facing an academic rigor, while specializing in their main area of study, which is full of complexities. In order to excel in their future paths, those students favor completing and overcoming such challenges only focusing on their qualification. They might have problems with time-efficiency or multitasking. However, they are concerned about becoming remarkable in their domain more, where they will have better opportunities in choosing career prospects. Namely, while working, they will be adept at what they are doing due to their industriousness and the valued concentration in their academic studies in the past.
In my view, it is worthy to appreciate a specialization and fully devoting time and attention to this career field. Although, juggling and attempting to complete several tasks given by extra classes might appear to be assisting in having a fantastic memory and time management, it does not fully guarantee the level of job qualification in the future. The full focus and concentration is needed to achieve prominence in a field.
In summary, many argue that having additional classes would contribute to their skill improvements, while others oppose this view. I firmly believe attending studies only related to their qualification is more rational since it will have a huge contribution to be recognized as exceptional in a field.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “the enhancement of management skills” could be rephrased as “the development of management skills,” and “academic rigor” could be rephrased as “academic challenges.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.

The essay demonstrates a good control of a wide range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. The essay contains a few grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect prepositions. For example, in the sentence “Although, juggling and attempting to complete several tasks given by extra classes might appear to be assisting in having a fantastic memory and time management,” the phrase “given by extra classes” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives on the issue and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer presents a well-structured argument, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the issue. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic. The essay would benefit from a more formal tone and style to better fit the academic context. Additionally, the writer could provide more specific examples to support their arguments.