Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why is this the case? How can they be encouraged to go out?
Doing Outdoor activities is the way to stay active. People in their younger age have been living toward a sedentary lifestyle, which encourages them to spend more time indoors.This can be attributed to several reasons, which increasing tensions of individuals and the limitations of the outdoor facilities. This trend can be handled by taking more efforts to inspire healthy activities in the public.
Many young individuals not spend their time outdoors, there are several reasons.
The first reason is that employees especially office workers, having an unprecedented amount of pressure. Many workers spend more than 40 hours each week at the workplace struggling with heavy tasks and , thus, rather than spending time outdoors they prefer spending the remaining time at home enjoying their quality of life. Another cause is the lack of green areas and outdoor facilities for citizens. Instead of going to parks and sports stadiums, people would go for exercise at fitness centers.
The first way is raising the awareness of each individual about the benefits of spending time outdoors for physical exercise. People should know the consequences of being inactive physically , by awaing about severe health problems including obesity, chronic disease, and overweight. Another solution is that the government can allocate budgets to make facilities become available in public areas with more state of the art exercise devices in parks. It is a potential to go out in their leisure, leading to have a better living lifestyle
In conclusion, many youngsters are not spending their time in nature , due to some existed reasons namely increasing tensions of individuals and limited outdoor facilities. However this can be directed by handling possible solutions which are taking more efforts to inspire healthy lifestyle
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. Additionally, there are a few errors in punctuation and spelling that can also affect the overall clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities and suggesting ways to encourage them to do so. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this trend and proposes practical solutions. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.