More and more parents are allowwing their childiren to play on computers and tablets as they think that childiren should learn technology skills .Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, majority of parents think that computers and tablets are immensely important to their children technology skills. Also, they allowing their children to play on computers and tablets for the learning some crucial skills, in my opinion, the benefits it offers are much more significant.
There are some drawbacks to playing computers. One is that, children may have health problems, especially they spent majority of time to the computer and so this process is very harmful for their vision ability. For instance, if they have computer at that time, they always train with it and they have no time for another jobs such reading books, magazine, or journals because they always prefer computer that’s why they like to play computer games and so teenagers became more interested technology in this days. In addition to this, technology devices have developed very rapidly in recent years and this can affect to our children behavior and ability of learning process.
Despite the downsides mentioned above, technology developments are plays significant role to our lifestyle especially for the teenagers and our children. Almost children should have It skills that’s why every jobs demand from that computer knowledge. If they have affordable knowledge in using computer or devices at that time, they can work in many work places and they can gain an advantage through their ability. Therefore, parents and government give many chances to our children use from it and working with computers and tablets in many times and this should be very good improvement to our children future. For example, after developing technology and taking sufficient skills at using computer it would be very good for the children daily lifestyle and working with many foreign countries company.
To sum up with, I believe that using computer and tablets are widely preferred today since it offers a number pf advantages. However, it does have several disadvantages too
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and provide a clear final thought.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a greater variety of sentence structures to help convey complex ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but they do not impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and there are some grammatical errors. These errors do not significantly impact the overall clarity or readability of the essay. However, the essay could benefit from a more thorough review to identify and correct any remaining errors, as well as to help expand the range of sentence structures used.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of allowing children to play on computers and tablets. The writer presents a clear position that the benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages. However, the argument could be more fully developed with additional supporting details and examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported by the rest of the essay.