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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Obesity is becoming a pressing issue, with the number of overweight people proliferating. It is suggested by some that an increase in the price of fattening foods can be a measure to combat this problem. I partially agree with this view. While an offered solution can be effective, other remedies co-exist to address this issue completely.
As sugary snacks as well as fast foods are prevalent worldwide, more and more people are opting for them instead of organic products, which is a steppingstone to obesity. An increase in the price of unhealthy foods is said to be a solution. The rationale behind this case is that they are affordable compared to organic products, and the cooking time is relatively short. If responsible officials increase their prices, the consumption of such foods can decrease because individuals would choose healthy options over detrimental ones to their health.
However, this does not guarantee a viable result, which might hinder the progress indirectly. In this innovation-driven era, marketers value the consumer choice. Currently, fattening products, such as fried potatoes, noodle soups, and chemically grown foods are ubiquitous, which spurs companies to encourage their consumption through marketing and psychological methods to escalate their net profit. For example, if a company alters its products, its profit will in no sense remain unchanged, which might foster the same products.
Therefore, other mediums can be offered. Awareness programs are a pivotal part of this case that may increase the efficacy of measures. Some people might be diet-illiterate, which have no dietary education. Such illiteracy paves the way for obesity, which can be addressed through awareness programs. A case in point is Uzbekistan, where the executives of health committee organize regular events throughout the country to educate people about the side-effects of obesity and sedentary lifestyles. They argue that this has produced an intended result, which was a decline in obesity rates.
Another, albeit equally viable, solution might be lowering the prices of organic food. It is true that the reason for the high prices of healthy foods is the intricate process they undergo – harvesting, meticulous care by farmers, transportation and regulation. If the prices were to be declined while fattening products are increased, the ultimate option for people would be organic food, which provides necessary vitamins and minerals for one’s body, fostering a mutually beneficial outcome.
In conclusion, increasing the prices of fattening products can be a solution; however, awareness programs and decreasing the price of organic food should be implemented altogether to address the near-universal issue completely – obesity.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your paragraphs focus on a single main idea.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A wide range of vocabulary is used effectively and accurately. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free, and punctuation is well managed. However, there are a few minor errors.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.