More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?
It is true that cars are bought by people, and this becomes more and more popular. This trend is not devoid of challenges, such as traffic jams, putting greenhouse gases, and increasing global warming. In my view, humans can fix these problems if they start to use cars less or buy electric cars.
One of the primary problems of increasing the number of machines is rush hour. It can create issues between people, as at this time people become angrier, because they can be late to their work or school. As a result, their boss or employers are likely to scold or fine. Furthermore, a significant number of cars increase global warming and put greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. These factors dramatically destroy our economic system, because toxic air has CO2 and NO, and it brings global problems to people’s health.
People can fix this situation, but they must be prepared to change the way they use the machines. Firstly, individuals should pay attention to changing cars to other machines, such as electric cars or public transport. Buying electric cars can use less gasoline; as a result, we will be able to reduce the level of heat on Earth. Additionally, reducing usage of cars can fix traffic jams, because on the way there will be fewer cars, and individuals are likely to be relaxed.
In conclusion, I believe that people don’t ignore these problems, and they should find solving for new generations because individuals should face their population.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and solutions.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the environment and transportation. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few errors that could be corrected for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas could be more fully supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems associated with the increasing use of cars in developing countries and proposing solutions to mitigate these issues. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific and varied examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed.