More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

It is true that cars are bought by people, and this becomes more and more popular. This trend is not devoid of challenges, such as traffic jams, putting greenhouse gases, and increasing global warming. In my view, humans can fix these problems if they start to use cars less or buy electric cars.
One of the primary problems of increasing the number of machines is rush hour. It can create issues between people, as at this time people become angrier, because they can be late to their work or school. As a result, their boss or employers are likely to scold or fine. Furthermore, a significant number of cars increase global warming and put greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. These factors dramatically destroy our economic system, because toxic air has CO2 and NO, and it brings global problems to people’s health.
People can fix this situation, but they must be prepared to change the way they use the machines. Firstly, individuals should pay attention to changing cars to other machines, such as electric cars or public transport. Buying electric cars can use less gasoline; as a result, we will be able to reduce the level of heat on Earth. Additionally, reducing usage cars can fix traffic jams, because on the way will be less cars and individuals are likely to be relax.
In conclusion, I believe that people don’t ignore these problems and they should finger solving for new generations, so individuals should face their population.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate the proposed solutions.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the environment and transportation. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be clarified. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the arguments.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good understanding of grammar and punctuation rules. However, there are some errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use that could be addressed. Proofreading for these errors could help to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the development of ideas could be more fully supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems associated with the increasing use of cars in developing countries and proposing solutions to mitigate these issues. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.