More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction, and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for it? What can be done to solve this problem?
It has been argued that the preservation of animals is leading to the fall of extinction worldwide. Although this phenomenon is considered as one of the most controversial topics as for its reasons over the last decades, the problems of this assertion are seemed to be solved in some developing nations.
It is true that a wide range of animals, such as fauna and flora, are becoming endangered in contemporary society. Understandably, the global warming proceeded by humans is harming such animals with the weather condition and unhealthy toxins in which it might affect their cardiovascular system, causing the spread of diseases like asthma and chronic. To get deemed more deeply into this, the climate is becoming unprecedented in different parts of the world, thus to the destruction of their habitats in seasons like winter and summer for the reason of international disbalance of weather forecast.
As for solutions, governments should preserve such spices in zoos and also encourage their people to own home pets for household chores. In this case, wild and dangerous animals, especially cheetahs and lions, could be kept in zoos, attracting thousands of tourists and children, helping their owners to make some money in order to ensure their family. Likewise, the encouragement of official bodies would play a crucial role in disposable society. This is because dogs and cats are very vital outside due to poor diets and live in the ruins; therefore, remaining such pets at home can save their lives with enough food shelters and living space.
In light of all implemented considerations over why the kinds of animals are decreasing and being put on the list of endangered species, I reconsider the view of national authority as to encourage their citizens to keep less dangerous animals such as dogs as a means of guardian of their house.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the environment and animal conservation. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be clarified. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that can cause some difficulty for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain the reader’s interest. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can hinder understanding. Proofreading to correct these errors is recommended. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as relative clauses, could help to make the writing more sophisticated.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the endangerment of wild animals and proposing solutions. However, the ideas could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the proposed solutions.